no more sex with people i just met.
it's not worth it. i didn't do anything that high risk, but i'm still freaking out about diseases.

it's been about one week. i have to wait six months to get a totally accurate test result. this fucking sucks, and i'm pretty sure i'm fine. but then i worry if i feel i'm fine instead of being a basketcase, it might be the time i actually do get sick. because life can be like that.

brian kinney isn't my idol anymore.
i like the idea of falling in love and being in a commited relationship, even if it does get boring. being alone is boring too. i hate fucking around. i can't ever relax and enjoy it.

i want a boyfriend.

remember this.